Okay, that's it. The console war is over. Nintendo won, high definition gaming is rubbish, housewives and teenage girls are the new leet gamers. Males above the age of 21 should just take up angling before everyone else nicks all the best spots by the canal.

It's 2009 now, so console makers are just starting to gloat about their hardware sales for last year. Nintendo is leading by a considerable margin.

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